Having a seat at the table doesn’t always mean being included. Deaf and Deafblind people often face dinner table syndrome — missing out because communication barriers build walls. Watch Haben Girma and Rachel Kolb break it down and share solutions. How do YOU stay connected?
Descriptive Transcript
Haben Girma, a woman in her thirties with medium dark skin, long black hair, and dancing hazel eyes speaks to the camera. She has a mic clipped to a teal top, and behind her is a blue wall.
Haben: Sometimes around the dinner table I feel stressed. It’s a paradoxical feeling of being present, but because of communication barriers, feeling like you’re not actually there because you’re missing out on so much information. This is an experience a lot of Deaf and Deafblind people have gone through, and there’s a name for it.
Rachel Kolb, a white woman in her thirties with blonde hair and a light blue top, signs to the camera in American Sign Language. She is standing in front of a light wooden cabinet. A voiceover of Rachel speaking English plays as she signs.
Rachel: Yes, Deaf people like me often call that feeling “dinner table syndrome.” In my new book, Articulate, I tell one story about how I experienced dinner table syndrome during my 19th birthday. That was my first year of college. I went out to dinner to celebrate with a group of hearing people from my dorm. Almost no one knew how to sign. When I showed up, I knew they’d come to celebrate me. None of them wanted to exclude me. But still, I sat there and watched their conversation flying, back and forth, their laughter swirling around the table. I couldn’t keep up. It felt terrible.
Haben: As a Deafblind person, I’ve experienced dinner table syndrome among hearing people and among Deaf people. Dinner table syndrome is a mismatch between the group communications and the communication needs of the individual person. Every Deaf and Deafblind person is different. Some sign, some voice, some like me use Braille.
So what we need is to first identify what’s happening. Naming it allows us to reclaim our place at the table by coming up with strategies, both for Deaf people and for hearing people, because it’s a team effort to feel fully present at a table.
Rachel: For me, signing is the most effective dinner table syndrome prevention strategy. I encourage my friends to learn ASL, or I think about my other access options, such as interpreting services. When I go to participate in a mixed group and there isn’t an interpreter, I think about how to keep the group small. I often prefer one-on-one conversations best. I ask my hearing friends to please look at me, or speak clearly, or be more expressive, or use a little bit of sign or gesture or pointing, or we can write things down, or text, or generally be more…
Rachel pulls out a copy of her book and shows it to the camera. The title ARTICULATE: A DEAF MEMOIR OF VOICE is on the cover, the letters of “Articulate” assembling gradually across the page, bold pink and purple swirls in the background.
Rachel: Articulate.
Rachel points to the title of her book and grins.
Rachel: What strategies do you use to feel more connected with other people? You can comment below.